A day in the life of a working bachelor- part 1

here is a detailed description of a typical day in a bachelor's life. its a longish description, so i have broken it into parts. here goes the first part. hope you enjoy.


7:30 AM
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING (the Alarm sounds)
A: shut up you fool, let me sleep a bit more. (hits the snooze button)

7:50 AM
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
(A looks at the alarm clock with a scorn capable of even forcing George W. Bush pull the American troops out of IRAQ. And the alarm clock wisely decides to go into the snooze mode itself rather than bear this agonizing gaze any more.)

8:10 AM
(The alarm clock decides to give it one final try) RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
A: OK OK. FINE. I surrender. I am getting up in another 5 minutes. U sonovabitch alarm clock.
(the clock gives out a small RIING as a sign of success)
A: @#$%^&*

8:20 AM
( A, finally awake, looks at the clock)
A: OH SHIT!!!!! its already 8:20, damn this Lousy alarm, never works properly . I better get a good one the next time.
(The poor old alarm clock felt like jumping off the table and committing a suicide that very moment)

8:25 AM
A: oh man, the time is flying by. I better skip Shaving today. Anyways I guess girls like men with stubble. I better be quick with the bath.

8:26 AM
A: Naaaaa, forget the bath. I can save time by just washing my face. Anyways no one even notices if you’ve taken a bath or not.

8:32 AM
A (Beaming with happiness): HAH, I saved a good 8 minutes by not bathing. Now to get ready for office. Finally I can get to the office just about in time. I hope the bus doesn’t screw up.

8:33 AM
(frantically going through the wardrobe)
A: f*** man. No f****** cloth to wear. Damn the dhobi. Never gives back the clothes on time. (loudly) MAIN AA RAHA HOON DHOBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII



8:38 AM
A: Bhaiya kya karte ho yaar. Kapde toh time se wapis kar diya karo. Office pehen ne k liye kuch bhi nahi hai. Iron kar do abhi.
DHOBI: itni subah subah kahaan se kar doon babu ji. Abhi nahi ho sakta kuch.
A: (feeling as if a fire bolt had hit him) kya bol rahe ho bhaiya, main office kya pehen ke jaunga?
DHOBI: Arre babu ji, hamare hote hue chinta kaahe karte ho, hum kisi aur ka kapda de deta hoon aapko aaj pehen ne ke liye.
A: achha achha jaldi do. Aur mere kapde bhi de dena aaj shaam tak.
(while going back, A was thanking in his mind the ,oh so caring, dhobi and the dhobi was thanking god, for if A had come a minute before, he would have seen that boy who took A’s clothes, FOR THE DAY)

CUT TO 8:55 AM
A, having gotten so involved in the painful experience of getting ready for the office, had ignored the requirements of his digestive system, which in turn had now started a revolt. * A could PRACTICALLY smell something bad* (ewwwwwww).

9:05 AM
Ignoring the plight of the Digestive system, the brave working bachelor, Mr. A, reaches the bus stop, he had been preparing himself mentally for the arduous task that he had to face now, BOARDING A DTC BUS.*For all those lucky people who haven’t had the misfortune or the fortune of encountering a DTC bus, you can read the “DTC bus” as “a BOX, Full upto the brim, OF PEOPLE”*

9:15 AM
Finally, after waiting for 10 minutes, and trying unsuccessfully to get onto some 400 buses that went passed him, A finally gets onto a bus which is not too full but also had a good number of ahem…. Females….in it.
He finds a seat. To his utter fortune, it was shared with a fairly cute & good looking female of about his age and had a good pair of .......errrr.......(we better forget this part). Both of them smile at each other. A is mustering up all the courage he has, to start a conversation with the girl. Just then the girl’s mobile rings. The ring tone was a silly “ haaye haaye mirchi”. And the first word that came out of the girl’s mouth were “ hiiiiiiii jaaanu, I was waiting sooooo eagerly for your call. I love you. Muah muah muah”
This was followed by a sound of something breaking. It was A’s heart.

9:40 AM
A reaches his office. Though he is late by a good 10 minutes, he was happy to get away from all the sweet talk that girl was making. With her boyfriend obviously.
And now he is ready again for the long day that stares at him in the face. And his boss, who not only stares, but also spits uncontrollably at and FIRES people.

All that you (N)ever wanted to know.

umm... hmmmmmm......
ummmmm....hmmmmmmmmm.......
*suddenly everyone notices and applauds*

AUTHOR:(acknowledging the crowd with the Classic Wave of the hand motion)
So, Ladies and gentlemen (YES, all three of you), Have you ever given a thought to whatever you would never ever want to know????
Sounds weird na.... nd hey, if you are thinkin dis blog(& the blogger) to be one of those intellectual types, you are PATHETICALLY mistaken. intellect and the blogger are as related 2 each other as are mayawati and mulayam singh.
anyways, back to the real question. Lets give it a thought now. What would it be that you would be least interested in knowing??????

All those who would not like to know how to make girls go mad after them say YAY.....
*a couple of chappals come flying towards the author, He Ducks.....woah, Missed by a whisker*

All those who would not like to know what is the size of RAKHI SAWANT's .....err.... sandals????
* A better response. NO Flying Chappals.*

All those who are no inteesting in knowing how ASH & ABHI make love say YO......
*Oh Shit!!! Everyone running after the author with a chappal or THE deadly tomatoes in their hands. just for a moment the author wonders why do they call them HAWAI chappals*


*at that precise moment, someone from the audience shouts "shut the f*** up damn it.. we dont wanna know what the f*** u think or Whatever you do. Or for that matter whomsoever you are".*


And Yes, here you have your answer. Thats one thing you dont ever wanna know. and as the title suggests, thats all you are gonna get here. what i am, what i think and also my views and thoughts on whatever is goin on around in the world and my neighbourhood.....

THE AUTHOR BOWS DOWN AND THE CURTAINS FALL........

P.S. i have just now noticed that for a 50 words worth of message, i have used some 250 words.
& if that is what you are also doing with water, please stop it. the water you waste may be life for another 5 people.
bye and take care
for more on me, watch this space......