Wednesday, June 27, 2007

A day in the life of a working bachelor- part 1

here is a detailed description of a typical day in a bachelor's life. its a longish description, so i have broken it into parts. here goes the first part. hope you enjoy.

7:30 AM
A: shut up you fool, let me sleep a bit more. (hits the snooze button)

7:50 AM
(A looks at the alarm clock with a scorn capable of even forcing George W. Bush pull the American troops out of IRAQ. And the alarm clock wisely decides to go into the snooze mode itself rather than bear this agonizing gaze any more.)

8:10 AM
(The alarm clock decides to give it one final try) RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
A: OK OK. FINE. I surrender. I am getting up in another 5 minutes. U sonovabitch alarm clock.
(the clock gives out a small RIING as a sign of success)
A: @#$%^&*

8:20 AM
( A, finally awake, looks at the clock)
A: OH SHIT!!!!! its already 8:20, damn this Lousy alarm, never works properly . I better get a good one the next time.
(The poor old alarm clock felt like jumping off the table and committing a suicide that very moment)

8:25 AM
A: oh man, the time is flying by. I better skip Shaving today. Anyways I guess girls like men with stubble. I better be quick with the bath.

8:26 AM
A: Naaaaa, forget the bath. I can save time by just washing my face. Anyways no one even notices if you’ve taken a bath or not.

8:32 AM
A (Beaming with happiness): HAH, I saved a good 8 minutes by not bathing. Now to get ready for office. Finally I can get to the office just about in time. I hope the bus doesn’t screw up.

8:33 AM
(frantically going through the wardrobe)
A: f*** man. No f****** cloth to wear. Damn the dhobi. Never gives back the clothes on time. (loudly) MAIN AA RAHA HOON DHOBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

8:38 AM
A: Bhaiya kya karte ho yaar. Kapde toh time se wapis kar diya karo. Office pehen ne k liye kuch bhi nahi hai. Iron kar do abhi.
DHOBI: itni subah subah kahaan se kar doon babu ji. Abhi nahi ho sakta kuch.
A: (feeling as if a fire bolt had hit him) kya bol rahe ho bhaiya, main office kya pehen ke jaunga?
DHOBI: Arre babu ji, hamare hote hue chinta kaahe karte ho, hum kisi aur ka kapda de deta hoon aapko aaj pehen ne ke liye.
A: achha achha jaldi do. Aur mere kapde bhi de dena aaj shaam tak.
(while going back, A was thanking in his mind the ,oh so caring, dhobi and the dhobi was thanking god, for if A had come a minute before, he would have seen that boy who took A’s clothes, FOR THE DAY)

CUT TO 8:55 AM
A, having gotten so involved in the painful experience of getting ready for the office, had ignored the requirements of his digestive system, which in turn had now started a revolt. * A could PRACTICALLY smell something bad* (ewwwwwww).

9:05 AM
Ignoring the plight of the Digestive system, the brave working bachelor, Mr. A, reaches the bus stop, he had been preparing himself mentally for the arduous task that he had to face now, BOARDING A DTC BUS.*For all those lucky people who haven’t had the misfortune or the fortune of encountering a DTC bus, you can read the “DTC bus” as “a BOX, Full upto the brim, OF PEOPLE”*

9:15 AM
Finally, after waiting for 10 minutes, and trying unsuccessfully to get onto some 400 buses that went passed him, A finally gets onto a bus which is not too full but also had a good number of ahem…. Females….in it.
He finds a seat. To his utter fortune, it was shared with a fairly cute & good looking female of about his age and had a good pair of .......errrr.......(we better forget this part). Both of them smile at each other. A is mustering up all the courage he has, to start a conversation with the girl. Just then the girl’s mobile rings. The ring tone was a silly “ haaye haaye mirchi”. And the first word that came out of the girl’s mouth were “ hiiiiiiii jaaanu, I was waiting sooooo eagerly for your call. I love you. Muah muah muah”
This was followed by a sound of something breaking. It was A’s heart.

9:40 AM
A reaches his office. Though he is late by a good 10 minutes, he was happy to get away from all the sweet talk that girl was making. With her boyfriend obviously.
And now he is ready again for the long day that stares at him in the face. And his boss, who not only stares, but also spits uncontrollably at and FIRES people.


nidhi said...

absolutely hilarious..and very very true..specially the things that take place(in the post and am sure in your real life as well) at 9.15 and 9.40......i could hardly stop laughing.....hahahaha...anyways good going man!!!!!

ritika said...

hahahahahhahahaha...... great! so dats ur life in dil valo ki dilli. sounds gr8. so sory 4 d broken heart bt m sure it hapns almost evryday n dsnt evn take much time 2 recover. mast hai! n gud luk 4 future(never stop tryin).

ritika said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
j said...

as everybody already posted the hilarious compliment....i'll forgo that...never knew ur life in del was that eventful......!!!!!..sme really intresting stuff that i never knew......vaise its really witty,insightful,...nd hve a mst unique perspective.....gr8 gng....!!!!!enjoy!!!

sheenam said...

ha ha ha..... this was jst awesum.... luked as if it ws ma own destiny..... wel wel wel... if thts hapenin 2 u as wel.. i mst say... chinta mat karo... u r nt da onli 1 whuz goin through it..... take care....

Aditya Khurana said...

@ nidhi : Am glad that u liked my writing, and and and, these incidents are not from my personal life... these are just some generalisations....hehehehehe

@ ritika : thank u ji for wishing me luck, but i guess u are the one who need a whole lot of it right of luck to u too... take care

@ j: this is not my life.... in case you u thought who A was, it stands for, ANYONE BUT ADITYA....

@ Sheenam i just hope that this does not happen to be your destiny.... it is very painful u see.... AMEN

Rani M Das said...

he he he he he he he .. True to thye core and presented in a very funny manner...